加国教育：身为父母最艰难是什么时候？

　　Which is the hardest year of parenting? 孩子哪个年纪父母最头痛、最辛苦？

　　向不同的父母提出这个问题会有不同的答案。有些说从来都不会觉得孩子麻烦。身为父母只要爱孩子，不论遇上什么问题也会知道怎样解决。

　　尽管如此，养育教导孩子并非一帆风顺，孩子成长中总会有些阶段父母觉得最劳心劳力，甚至心力交瘁的。

　　模煳日与夜

　　Some will argue that it's the very first year of life. It's hazing that brings new parents to their knees: shock therapy for the 18 years ahead. That's when parenting is most demanding, some say - in those around-the-clock, blurry days and nights.

　　有些父母会说是一岁以前，难处是hazing。Hazing解the imposition of strenuous, often humiliating, tasks as part of a program of rigorous physical training and initiation，即被迫做苦工。Bring somebody/something to their knees解to destroy or defeat someone or something，完全击败。"Brings new parents to their knees"解令新任的爸爸妈妈喊“投降”。

　　孩子出生以前，夫妇自由自在、随心所欲，想做什么便做什么；孩子出生后，生活便以孩子为中心，生活节奏、习惯整体改变，安静地吃完一顿饭也不是经常可以，晚上也不能一觉睡到天亮。

　　在这个阶段，妈妈当然特别辛苦。日夜也不分，所以说是"blurry days and nights"。回看这头一年，不少父母都会觉得印象模煳，记不清楚是怎样捱过的。

　　两岁最难搞

　　有人却说最难搞是孩子刚到两岁的时候︰

　　There's a reason the next year is called the "Terrible Twos" - a time of meltdowns, the oft-repeated "No!" and high-speed chases, always potentially damaging to body and property.

　　电影中的high-speed chase是惊心动魄的追车场面。孩子懂得跑来跑去时，那high-speed chase就开始在家中发生，孩子横冲直撞，父母在后面猛追、扶，恐防孩子跌倒或撞倒。

　　核子反应堆出事熔解叫meltdown，这个字也引申解disastrous events(灾难性的事故)。孩子若受伤，就是meltdown。

　　做父母都知道，不论是terrible two或terrible three, four，有孩子在家，日子会过得飞快。孩子牙牙学语的情境还历历在目，转眼就变成“驳嘴驳舌”的teenager。

　　Teenage阶段自然也有它的挑战。十来岁是孩子的反叛期。生理因素使然，每个孩子都是这样。虽然父母都明白，但孩子的性情改变，父母也总会感到难受︰

　　Even if it's considered "developmentally appropriate," it hurts when someone you love speaks to you disrespectfully(不尊重地) and willfully(有意地) ignores what you've asked them to do. When a child's behaviour takes swings of intolerableness(难以容忍), it affects the parent, as well. When a child begins to withdraw or shut you out, you wonder how long it may last.

　　其实孩子不论在哪个成长阶段，父母最重要的是懂得与他们沟通。Adele Faber和Elaine Mazlish合着的How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk，在这方面提供指引。